


Chrysanthemum

by Nageki



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Murder Reference, Post-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, is an execution a depiction of violence?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nageki/pseuds/Nageki
Summary: After the Mutual Killing game, Makoto has to learn to cope with his grief and trauma.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya
Comments: 12
Kudos: 72





	1. Erica Carnea

**Author's Note:**

> Coping with being quarantined in the only way I know how: writing until my fingers are numb.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy some fluff.

_Makoto could see his world shattering in front of him when the results of the vote were shown. They thought he was the killer. They thought he killed Mukuro, who he’d never even met before they found her dead on the Greenhouse floor? No, no, that was wrong, he hadn’t killed her! No numver of objections would take away the results of the vote, nor would it change something that horrified him even more. Monokuma was saying they were_ **_right_ ** _._

_He didn’t want to die._

_He was going to die, and everyone was going to think that he’d killed someone. Perhaps it was better than the alternative of everyone getting executed because they’d voted incorrectly, but Makoto could hardly bring himself to think of that right now. He didn’t want them to think he killed someone. He wanted his friends to believe him. They didn’t. Their expressions burned into his mind- Apologetic, apologetic, accusing, and regret. Despite the regret in Kyoko’s eyes, he didn’t think that even she believed him. Nothing he had said was changing their minds, and almost nothing they said reached him anyway. The only voice he took notice of was Kyoko’s, and she was right. He didn’t forgive her. For the first time in a long while, he didn’t have it in his heart to do so. Was it just the fear of dying that made him think that? He didn’t know, and he didn’t care right now. He didn’t have enough time left to really think about it, either. All he knew was that he felt like he shouldn’t have trusted her, like he should have called out her lie._

_He reached toward them as he was dragged off, to an execution that he shouldn’t have been put through. Nobody moved to help him. It wasn’t as if they could do anything for him, but he still wished one of them would have tried to save him from this fate. He was scared, just the assurance that they didn’t want him dead would have helped him through this. One last comfort before he died._

_He was sat at a desk on a conveyor belt without any sort of reassurance from his classmates, though. He wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. He hardly had time to wonder just how he’d die before he heard a loud thud behind him, something dropping down so hard that it shook the conveyor belt. Something heavy had fallen behind him. And again. Thud, thud, thud, like a deadly metronome. Monokuma had rolled up in front of him, droning something that he didn’t care to pay attention to. He looked over his shoulder to see what he was slowly being moved toward. A giant metal block, which would surely crush him underneath it when he eventually ended up underneath it. A compactor, he thought that was what it was called. He had already been breathing quickly, but the sight of that made it pick up further. His chest hurt, his throat hurt, it felt like he wasn’t getting enough oxygen, and all that wouldn’t matter at all in under a minute._

_Time passed much more quickly than he would have liked, and before long he felt the compactor slamming down right behind him. It paused for a moment when he was moved under it. A few tears slipped out of corners of his eyes._

_Makoto didn’t want to die...But at least he’d get to see Sayaka once again. She’d know he hadn’t killed anyone. It’d be a painless death._

_When the compactor didn’t immediately descend on him, he glanced up in confusion. His last sight would be a heavy, gray block descending toward him._

\--

Makoto's eyes shot open, shivering from the cold sweat that clung to his body. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, feel his chest heave with every all too fast breath. Alive. He was alive? Yeah, he was alive. That hadn’t been real, just a nightmare. His execution hadn’t actually ended with him being crushed. He sat up and tossed his blanket off, then rubbed his arms. He was freezing, the first thing he needed to do was get out of these sweaty clothes. His mind was still on his execution, but he’d work on calming down in a bit. Being cold would only make him feel worse.

He peeled off his shirt and pants, which he tossed haphazardly into the corner of the room. It didn’t take long for him to dig another pair of pajama pants out of his drawer and pull them on. He didn’t care about putting a new shirt on, he just grabbed a soft throw and draped it around his shoulders. Nobody else should have been awake right now and even if they were, they wouldn’t comment about him not wearing a shirt, so he didn’t have the energy to care. 

He hoped that nobody else was awake, at the very least. He didn’t want anybody to see him like this, he couldn’t let them see him like this. Makoto was supposed to help everyone else through their pain, not rely on them. His nightmares were nothing they needed to concern themselves with, even if they woke him most nights. It had only been a few months since everyone had escaped Hope’s Peak, so it wasn’t surprising that he still had nightmares about it. Guilt, fear, distrust, loneliness, it all had to be normal, and everyone else had similar or worse things to deal with, so he wouldn’t burden them.

He pushed the door open and, much to his surprise, he saw light illuminating from down the hall of the apartment he shared with his former classmates. He hadn’t checked the time, but most of the time when he woke up it was around two in the morning. Even Toko, who would regularly stay up late to work on a novell, was generally asleep by now. He didn’t see any motion in the shadows, so somebody had probably just forgotten to turn one of the lamps off. Makoto walked down the hall, past Toko and Yasuhiro’s rooms, clutching tightly at his throw. The plush fabric felt nice and it gave him something other than his dream to concentrate on. 

Some coffee would probably help his nerves, and he didn’t want to go back to bed anyway.

When he got to the end of the hall, he was surprised to see that there _was_ somebody sitting in the common area. Tall, blond, Makoto could have recognized him anywhere. What was Byakuya doing awake at this hour, though? He looked absolutely exhausted and was even wearing his pajamas. Makoto looked down, trying to avoid making eye contact. Byakuya may have looked worse for the wear, but all Makoto could picture when he looked at him was the anger he’d seen during Mukuro’s trial. The eyes of somebody who hated him, because he thought he’d killed someone.

“Byakuya? Why are you awake? It’s pretty late…” His voice was meek. “Well, I’m sorry to have bothered you, I-”

"I couldn't sleep, so I came out here to read." When he heard that, Makoto looked up at his friend again. Surely enough, Byakuya held a book in one hand and had what looked to be a cup of tea on the coffee table. Byakuya didn't wait for Makoto's reply and continued to speak, "And I believe I should be asking _you_ the same question. You're pale and trembling."

Byakuya had become quite a bit more friendly toward everyone since they escaped, but he was still as blunt as ever, it seemed. 

"Isn't this normally when you tell me to go away because I'm interrupting you?" If he had been talking to someone else, they might have fallen for that deflection. Makoto could see in Byakuya’s expression, the way he cocked a single eyebrow and leaned forward just a bit, that he wasn’t going to take that bait. It wasn’t a display of aggression, but it was still enough to make him look back down at his feet.

“Yes, I would normally do that, but I chose not to tonight. So tell me why you’re awake.” Yeah, that was what Makoto expected to hear. He wondered if Byakuya knew what a tsundere was. Or perhaps he would have been more of an Oujidere? Regardless, he sure had a cold way of expressing concern.

“Oh, I just woke up, it’s nothing.”

“....You’re not a good actor. If you’d rather talk to someone else, I’m sure Kyoko-”

“Don’t wake her up!” How quickly Makoto snapped visibly surprised Byakuya and Makoto himself was even shocked by his reaction. “I’m sorry. Maybe later, but… Not right now.”

“I didn’t say I was going to wake her up. I won’t make you talk, but I’ll let you sit on the couch, too, if you don’t intend to go back to bed. Just be quiet.” Byakuya used the book he was holding to gesture to the space next to him. Like he said, he didn’t make any further effort to to try getting him to talk, he simply went back to reading.

Byakuya wouldn’t know it, but his cold demeanor could be a comfort when Makoto didn’t want to talk. He felt lucky that it was him in the common area and not Aoi or Yasuhiro.

Makoto took him up on his offer and walked over to the couch, where he sat down. He stayed quiet as he tried to calm his nerves some, the silence in the room only broken on the occasion that a book page was turned. If he were to talk to anybody, Kyoko or Byakuya were probably the least likely to tell other people. On nights like this, Kyoko, despite being his best friend, was the person he wanted to talk to the least, so he couldn’t talk to her even if she _was_ awake. On the other hand, perhaps he could talk to Byakuya instead of trying to deal with this on his own. It might actually help.

“....I’m sorry if I worried you. It was just a nightmare, nothing you should worry about.” He sounded more hesitant than he would have liked. 

“About what?”

Makoto swallowed. He expected that question when he decided to state what was wrong, but he still didn’t want to answer it. Byakuya probably wouldn’t pry, but he’d still feel bad if he didn’t answer him. “M-My execution.”

It was only two words, but that still seemed to be enough to get a reaction out of Byakuya. Makoto could see the rise and fall of his chest stop for a moment out of the corner of his eye and a glance toward his face told him that Byakuya’s eyes were wide.

“I’m sorry, it’s stupid, I know.” Should he be apologizing? Well, it was what he felt like he should be doing, so that’s what he’d do. “It’s not like I actually died, so I shouldn’t stress out about it so much. You guys….” Have worse problems than him, that was what he wanted to say. Aoi’s best friend had killed herself. Byakuya’s entire family was dead. Kyoko’s father. If anyone should be lingering on what had happened, it should have been them.

“Makoto, shut up.” Byakuya leaned forward and put his book on the coffee table. Makoto scooted away from him a bit, scared that he had made him angry. He’d never seen Byakuya physically, but if he was putting his book down, he had to plan to do something.

To his surprise, Makoto only felt the cool touch of Byakuya’s hand on top of his own. Almost as if he was trying to comfort him.

“At the very least, stop apologizing. It’s not surprising you’d have nightmares about that.” Makoto thought that he could hear regret in Byakuya’s voice. “So stop. Anyone would be shaken by that.”

He had to be trying to comfort Makoto, but the words sounded so foreign coming out of his mouth and it just seemed so forced. It felt like he was quoting lines out of a movie. The fact that Byakuya Togami, the Ultimate Heir, the self proclaimed _Ultimate Perfection,_ couldn’t seem to figure out how to comfort one of his close friends was kind of funny. Makoto couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?”

“N-Nothing. But...I feel like….God, this isn’t even the first time I’ve dreamed about it….I’m starting to hesitate to sleep.” Makoto sighed.

“So that’s why you’ve been so tired….” Byakuya’s voice was quiet, as if he didn’t want Makoto to hear what he’d said. Kind of a poor attempt, considering they were right beside each other. “Well, if you’re having trouble sleeping, I wouldn’t mind keeping you company. Just this once. I might decide to wake you up if you start tossing and turning, if I feel like it. Be grateful.”

Makoto glanced up, toward Byakuya’s face. He sounded like he was trying to make it seem like he was only offering out of concern, but the way he was looking away and trying to hide a blush with his hand told Makoto that wasn’t his _only_ reason for offering. Makoto probably would’ve accepted the offer regardless, it was far better than staying up all night, but that gave him an idea.

He wrapped his arms around Byakuya’s waist and put his head on his shoulder. He could practically feel the blood rising to the Heir’s face and stifled a laugh. If he objected, Makoto could always play the ‘naive’ card. Being a bit of an airhead had it’s advantages when he did something like this on purpose.

“Hey, that’s not what I meant- Oh, fine, I guess this works, too….Idiot.” Aggressive words, but Byakuya didn’t sound unhappy, and the way he leaned back to allow Makoto to get comfortable practically confirmed that. 

Perhaps he could sleep well after all.


	2. Sakura

A gentle chiming sound woke Makoto up. That didn’t sound like his ringtone or alarm sound...Had he changed it before bed? He grumbled sleepily and went to sit up so he could pick up the phone, but he was pulled back down by an arm that was wrapped around his chest. Arm? Why was there an arm around him? Around his  _ bare  _ chest at that? He didn’t recall bringing anyone….Oh, wait, he’d fallen asleep on Byakuya after he’d woken up. Byakuya had to be the person clutching him like some 160 centimeter teddy bear.

Remembering that he’d fallen asleep with someone he knew was all well and good, but what the  _ Hell  _ had he been thinking?! Sure, he’d been tired, so falling asleep cuddled up to someone may have seemed like a good plan, but they were in the living room. People could have walked in! Oh, he was going to have a heart attack if Yasuhiro started bothering him about what had happened between the two of them. The truth wouldn’t make it look any less like they were together. Toko would kill him. Genocide Jack- Actually, she might not mind the sight, he wasn’t worried about that.

While Makoto was busy counting the hours he had left to live, Byakuya finally appeared to realize his alarm was on. He yawned and reached over Makoto to turn off the alarm. Huh, it’d sure taken him a long time to wake up. He stayed like this for a moment, looking down at Makoto as if he was unsure of what to do in this situation.

...Right, they were on a couch, if Byakuya just sat up he’d probably have ended up shoving Makoto off in the process. There was only one side to get up from, so in all likelihood he  _ was  _ wondering what to do. Not wanting to test his luck, Makoto slowly sat up, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his wrist. If Byakuya had been more awake and alert, he wouldn’t have put it past him to shove him on his ass on the floor. 

“Good morning, Byakuya,” He yawned. 

“M’rning…..,” Byakuya’s response was slow and the syllables were slurred together. He sat up in the space that had been made for him, but he looked like he was ready to fall back asleep. This wasn’t surprising to Makoto, several months of living with Byakuya had taught him two things: That Byakuya couldn’t be trusted around the stove and that he wasn’t a graceful riser. The latter was the only part that surprised him, he’d always been alert when they saw each while living in Hope’s Peak. Then again, there were attached bathrooms in Hope’s Peak, whereas they were sharing two bathrooms in a six person apartment now (much to Byakuya’s dismay, but he’d live).

A few moments later, Byakuya stood up and started to stumble toward the bathroom. And….He’d left his glasses on the coffee table. Makoto hoped that he could find the right toothbrush, instead of mistaking a different white one as his own. Makoto really needed to go out and buy a toothbrush that wasn’t white.

Makoto sat there for a moment, listening for anyone else. When he only heard the sound of a faucet being turned on, he felt relieved. Nobody else seemed to be awake, so that meant that there probably wasn’t anyone who had seen him sleeping with Byakuya. A crisis had probably been averted. 

That meant it was time to actually put a shirt on. Brushing his teeth and such could wait until after he ate. He stood up and stretched his back, hearing it pop and crack as he did so. Jeez, for somebody only nineteen years old, his bones sure made it sound like he was at least thirty years older at times like this. He returned to his room and opened the closet to look for a shirt that he felt like wearing. An old T-shirt for some foreign band that was a size or two too big for him and very soft was what he pulled out in the end. He was pretty sure he didn’t need to work, he didn’t need to worry about what he was wearing.

He lingered in his closet longer than it took to change shirts. He’d sure told Byakuya he’d been having nightmares, hadn’t he? And now that it was morning, Byakuya may ask more questions. If he left his room, he’d probably have to face the reality that somebody actually knew about this. The last thing Makoto wanted to do was talk about his problems. He could avoid that by locking his door and refusing to leave. His stomach was growling, though, and it’d be difficult to refuse to leave his room all day.

Makoto sighed and closed his closet doors. Well, he couldn’t just avoid Byakuya for the rest of his life. He had to leave his room eventually, so he should do it sooner rather than later. He needed to leave. It was just Byakuya, and he might not even pry into the issue. He needed to stop standing in front of his closet and actually walk out of the room. 

Makoto tore himself away from his closet door, then left his room. There was no use in trying to put this off, so he wouldn’t do so any longer. By the time he made it back to the common area, Byakuya had already returned and was standing in the kitchen watching the coffee pot brew. Had he really been standing in his room that long? Byakuya looked away from the coffee pot when he heard him come in and immediately cocked an eyebrow at him. Had he done something strange? Was there something in his hair?

“I didn’t know you listened to Rammstein.”

Oh. Was that what his shirt said? He’d always thought it was in English, but that didn’t sound English at all.

“Is that what this shirt says? I don’t, my mom bought this for me...About five years ago, I guess?” Makoto tried to laugh, but he shouldn’t have said that. Nobody currently wanted to bring up the topic of families, and Byakuya was especially sensitive to it. The rest of them could still hope that  _ some  _ of their family was still alive, but Byakuya had gotten confirmation that all of his was dead. Makoto really shouldn’t have said that.

“....Well, I suppose it’s okay music, if you like Metal. The lyrics can be dark, though, not that I expect you to understand German,” And he moved past the subject, with little more than a pause. It was kind of impressive.

“I’m not really a fan...” What he’d said about the lyrics being ‘dark’ made Makoto a bit curious, and he wondered if Byakuya actually spoke German. He decided not to push the topic any further, though. “So….I was thinking about making so-”

“Before you start making food,” Byakuya cut him off. Makoto really would have preferred if he didn’t interrupt him quite so much. “Tell me why you snapped when I brought up Kyoko last night.”

“That? It was nothing, I just didn’t want anybody woken up.” It wasn’t even a good lie and Makoto knew it. Damn, this was exactly what he’d been worried about. 

“I don’t intend to tell her.”

Makoto flinched away when he said that. It hadn’t been an insult or even an aggressive statement, yet it still cut as deep as a knife. It was hard to deny that he wanted to talk to somebody about this, even if this wasn’t quite how he’d imagined it happening.

“Fine...It’s just…” He paused. He couldn’t find the right words. Makoto didn’t want this to come out the wrong way, but he didn’t know what the right way to say it was. “My dream...During the trial….Uhm…..Kyoko, she….Did she ever tell you guys…?”

“Tell us what?” So that probably meant ‘no’. 

“She knew I didn’t kill Mukuro.” Makoto could see how Byakuya had to pause to think about what he’d just said. “When she said she didn’t expect me to forgive her? That’s...why. I know she regrets it and that she saved me, but…That...That doesn’t change what happened.”

“I..see.” Judging by how he said that, Byakuya was still wrapping his head around what Makoto had just said. 

“Most of the time, I can just forget about that. But when I dream about it, it becomes really hard to actually be around her...I still don’t want to see her.” It was hard to say that, the words alone made Makoto’s throat hurt. He didn’t really want to admit that he didn’t want to be around Kyoko, but as long as she wasn’t going to hear it he thought it’d be okay.

“But it’s hard to avoid her when you live under the same roof.”

Makoto looked down, away from Byakuya. That wasn’t quite how he would have put it, but Byakuya had it right for the most part.

“Then just say you want to be left alone.”

“You know I can’t do that, Byakuya.” Makoto chuckled halfheartedly. Him, turn people away? No, there was absolutely no way that he could do that, especially not with Kyoko. He may not have wanted to talk, but he could never say he didn’t want to be around some as close to him as she was. And what if she needed him?

“We’re not in a killing game anymore, Makoto.” Another statement as sharp as a knife. It would have been just as cutting even if Byakuya had bothered to soften his voice, but he wasn’t one to use a gentle tone even when trying to comfort someone. “You have no obligation to be around us all the time, none of us are going to try to kill each other.”

“If she needed me….” 

“Then she’d drag you out whether you wanted to be alone or not, Makoto. You can still avoid talking before that.” That must have been so obvious to Byakuya, who was averse to social interaction, but this was practically a novel concept to Makoto. No matter whether Makoto was in a good or bad mood, he tried to be there for people.  _ Not  _ being around them felt impossible.

“But I...Well, I...” He started, but he didn’t actually know what else he wanted to say. He just felt like he should try further protesting.

Byakuya sighed and rubbed his temples. He clearly wasn’t used to trying to comfort somebody and Makoto was, in Byakuya’s own words, “unbearably stubborn” when it came to matters like this. He had to think about what to say.

“Just try it for today, then. If Kyoko isn’t doing well at the end of the day, then you don’t need to do it again.” Byakuya offered after a moment. 

He scratched the side of his head as he considered this. Makoto may not have liked that suggestion, but it seemed completely fair. Maybe one day would be okay, it wasn’t like he was completely cutting her out of his life.

“Okay, one day. Uhm, can I ask you a question?” He asked timidly. “Why are you trying to help me? This isn’t really like you.”

Byakuya looked a bit surprised when he heard that question. He opened his mouth as if he was about to reply, but then closed it. That was a bit strange. Did he not not have an answer for the question or did he just not want to answer the question? 

“...Did I upset you? Uhm, I’m sorry, you don’t need to answer.” Makoto hastily said, hoping to mitigate any damage that he may have caused. He didn’t want Byakuya to be upset with him after he’d put so much effort into trying to help him.

“No, you didn’t upset me. I helped you because I wanted to, okay? Don’t mistake it for concern.” The last few words came out as a grumble. Byakuya crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from Makoto. It was kind of hard to tell, but Makoto thought it looked like he was blushing.

“...Thank you.” Makoto took a few steps forward to close the distance between the two of them and wrapped his arms around Byakuya’s back. It had to be okay to hug him after this conversation, right? He felt Byakuya stiffen when he first touched him, but after a few seconds he returned the hug. His arms were kind of loose, as if he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing. Considering what he’d heard of Byakuya’s backstory, Makoto wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t been shown much affection.

“You’re welcome, I suppose.” Byakuya seemed to be trying to sound unhappy. His attempt to sound like he didn’t care was kind of cute, especially when he was failing this badly. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have started this conversation in the first place.

Makoto let go of him and took a couple steps back with a yawn. The conversation had kind of exhausted him, maybe he should lay back down for a little bit. He wasn’t really hungry anymore anyway. 

“I’m kind of tired, I think I’m gonna go back to sleep for a bit- Not on your shoulder this time.” He chuckled as he added the last part. Byakuya had been blushing a little before, but when Makoto said that his face flushed red.

“Don’t mention that ever again. Sleep well, though...I guess.” 

Makoto chuckled again as he walked away from Byakuya. God, he really didn’t want to have another conversation like that. There were so many things that deserved Byakuya’s attention more than Makoto’s emotional state, so he’d need to be careful to keep him from noticing if he was upset. Regardless, it was kind of nice that he wanted to help.

He decided to step in the bathroom before he went to his room. He actually needed to use the bathroom, but he stopped in front of the sink as he walked in. His eyes trailed down to the toothbrush holder, looking to see which one was wet.

…

He really needed to replace his toothbrush. Maybe he’d go buy a differently coloured one after he woke up from his nap.


End file.
